“I blame myself”
This is not your typical version of the blame game. In fact, it is not your typical example of the blame game. We are used to the blame game being about passing the blame to anything and anyone but ourselves. We cannot however deny that we do not put unnecessary blame on ourselves sometimes.
“You Need To Stop Blaming Yourself For The Things You Cannot Change”~ A.J.A
I feel like today’s post is essential because of the past two posts. In the process of taking responsibility, we may take it to the extreme. We do not grow, especially spiritually, when we keep blaming ourselves for past mistakes. Yes, it happened and yes it was your fault but subjecting yourself to a constant and unhealthy condemnation would do you no good at all. Paul knew this very much hence, under the influence of The Holy Spirit he wrote Romans 8:1; “there is therefore now, no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh but after the Spirit.”
I recently started watching a series where a particular lady asked a man for directions and the man suggested she take the bus and drop off at a particular stop. Unfortunately, before the bus could arrive at that stop, a fatal accident occurred and the man got to know that the young lady he had advised to take that bus, was one of the fatalities. 13 years after that accident, the man was still living in guilt. He blamed himself for telling her to take that bus and because of that decided not to help or “meddle” in anyone’s affair.
Over a decade and he was still living in trauma, guilt and unnecessary blame. Now, tell me, is this how God would want you to live your life? The lady would have still gotten directions from someone else and be involved in the accident either way but the devil magnified that young man’s help and turned it into what seemed evil.
We are humans and so we are prone to make mistakes. Making mistakes is humane (unintentional mistakes), the problem arises when we choose to continue in that mistake. And when we do make mistakes, let’s own up to them, repent and move on from that. Dwelling on that mistake we’ve made can make us miss out on what God has in store for us.
Remember Judas Iscariot, the disciple who betrayed Jesus. It was the devil who rang the mistake he made over and over, in his head. Judas blamed himself for Jesus’ arrest and ended up committing suicide (Matthew 27:3-5). But did you know that he could have become an Apostle even as great as the likes of Paul and Peter? He would have been a first-hand testifier of how truly divine Jesus is, of how Jesus knew that he (Judas) was going to betray Him and He still freely gave up His life for us all. However, he let the blame game get the best of him and Satan of course sealed his fate.
Imagine if Apostle Paul had dwelled on the fact that he was responsible for the deaths of many Christians, Stephen included and continued to blame himself (Acts 8:1-3). Imagine if Peter never stopped blaming himself for denying Jesus (Matthew 26:69-75). Do you now see how much self-blame can stunt one’s growth?
There is a clear line between taking responsibility for your wrong and blaming yourself. Taking responsibility would have you acknowledging you have done something wrong and push you to look for a solution or way forward but blaming yourself is continuous, it makes you dwell on the wrong and the possible scenarios. E.g the “what ifs” and “what could have been”.
God wants us to take responsibility for our mistakes because it would propel us into rectifying them and ensuring (by the help of the Holy Spirit) that we do not make them again. He does not want us blaming ourselves, self-blame breeds guilt and such things cannot be of God. God would never make you feel condemned. (Romans 8:1; Ephesians 1:7; John 3:17; Isaiah 43:25)
In conclusion to this mini-series, blame is not orchestrated by God. He does not will it or even approve it. Through the course of this series we have seen how blaming others can affect our spiritual growth, how blaming God can tamper with our relationship with Him and how blaming ourselves can stunt our spiritual growth. It is clear that the blame-game is a pure fashion of the enemy and a strategy to destroy God’s children.
Remember, Christ has set you free and made you into a new creature (2 Corinthians 5:17). Live blame free, I strongly recommend it!